So I gets up there and I'm dancing with the bride. She was grinding up on me you see and Tommy the groom didn't take kindly to that."So Tommy walks up and kicks her right in the pussy!!!" Right in the pussy?" The judge cringes as he says, "That must have hurt."Johnny says, "Hurt!!?? Broke three of me fingers!!!"You're An EXTREME Redneck When...1 You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.2 The Black Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.3 You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.4 You think a woman who is out of your league bowls on a different night.5 You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.6 Someone in your family died right after saying, 'Hey, guys, watch this.'7 You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.8 Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.9 Your junior prom offered day care.10. You think the last words of the Star-Spangled Banner are. But as aroused as I was, my fear was more powerful. It coursed through my every vein, forcing all logic to leave my body. Only primal fear remained.I lost it. I trashed about, struggling to distance myself from the hideous beast. But no matter how hard I tried, it remained ever present above me, forcing my adrenaline to spike each time a menacing growl left its lips. I was about to give up all hope when I felt it.It was long and hard. The pointy tip slid across my stomach. I don’t know why I was suddenly naked, but it didn’t matter. I simply assumed my clothes had been torn of at some point during the attack and instead focused all of my attention of the shaft nearing my breasts. It slid between them, stopping only once it had reached my neck. There it hovered for a few seconds, making my adrenaline spike like yet again.Terrified, I opened my mouth to scream. But before a single word left my lips, the rock-hard member was thrust past my lips. I was so surprised I didn’t fight it..
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